Today when you find yourself getting anxious, ask yourself: Why are my insides all twisted up? Am I in control right now or have I given over control to my anxiety? Most importantly ask: Is my anxiety doing me any good?

I would love to say that I'm always calm, cool, and collected but that would be a bold-faced lie, I am as anxious about my life as the next person, maybe even more so. It was not until recently that I decided to make a more conscious effort, to stop giving anxiety control. The mind is extremely powerful, it's power can at times overwhelm us with thoughts, fears, doubts, and a multitude of other things, but we must always remember that we can regain control if we choose to.

There are many different responses to anxiety but not all of them are necessary, and most of them can be re-purposed for our benefit.

"The next time you find yourself in the middle of a freakout, or moaning and groaning with flu-like symptoms, or crying tears of regret, just ask: Is this actually making me feel better? Is this actually relieving any of the symptoms I wish were gone?" - The Daily Stoic

My most memorable moment of anxiety happened as I pulled into the driveway of my parent's house. I had come to visit them after a very rough semester of pharmacy school, the entire 2.5-hour ride up a small battle had been going on within my mind. Once I had reached the end of the driveway and put my car into park, something within me snapped, I was having a panic attack. I had curled into a ball and cried like a baby, calling my mother for help, I was so afraid of disappointing my family, so afraid of how they would react to my realization that I did not want to be a pharmacist. Once the tears had been wiped from my face and some time passed, I had the talk with my parents that I had been dreading. That talk had taught me that my parents were already proud of me and that the one putting the most pressure on me was my self.

After that moment of what had felt like helplessness, I had decided I needed to come up with some strategies to deal with this anxiety, and so I began to read. I read about mindfulness, yoga, breathing exercises, and one of my favorites The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson. This journey I had embarked on led me down many different paths, I began to meditate for 5 mins a day, I began to go on walks, and most importantly I began to write my feelings down and speak them aloud as well. These small actions allowed me the time and space, to relinquish the tunneled vision I had at the time, and understand more deeply the significance of my conscious choices.

We are all aware that life is full of choices, but it wasn't until 2019 that I had heard the term "reasoned choice". With this reasoned choice, we have the power to hold no opinion about a thing and not let it upset our state of mind, it is possible to not have an opinion about a negative thing. I have said before that "Life is an illusion created by your perception" and this is yet another example of these words being put into action.

Getting upset is like continuing the dream while you’re awake. The thing that provoked you wasn’t real— but your reaction was. And so from the fake comes real consequences. This is why I suggest you do whatever is necessary to wake up right now and be as present as possible, life can be a lucid dream or a horrible nightmare, it's totally up to you.

There is no singular way to do this, but there is one unavoidable requirement, your awareness. It requires you to stop and evaluate yourself honestly. When was the last time you did that?

For a long time, I was not honest with myself, I was extremely critical of myself and would rarely allow joy to sit with me for more than a moment, constantly worried about what was next. Somewhere along my life's path, I realized that it does me no good to allow people or circumstances to arouse anger or discontent within me, because more often than not they cared less than I did, and most time they did not care at all.

This is not me saying that you should not care at all, instead I would suggest that you not give any possible outcome more power or preference than is reasonably appropriate. To do this you must accept that when you see yourself as more than you are, you have failed yourself. How could you really be considered self-aware if you refuse to consider your weaknesses? I would be silly to forget to mention that it is equally damaging to “value yourself at less than your true worth.” - Goethe.

To let your anxiety run rampant is slavery, and no slavery is more disgraceful than one which is self-imposed.

“If a person gave away your body to some passerby, you’d be furious. Yet you hand over your mind to anyone who comes along, so they may abuse you, leaving it disturbed and troubled— have you no shame in that?” —EPICTETUS, ENCHIRIDION, 28

This life we live is one of consistent inconsistency, and never-ending learning so when you fail or make a mistake be more tolerant, understanding, and try to see your actions as attempts to do the right thing. It is better to have tried and failed than to have never tried at all. Whether you agree or not, how radically would this lens change your perspective on otherwise offensive or belligerent actions?

We’d be crazy to want to face difficulty in life. But we’d be equally crazy to pretend that it isn’t going to happen. The good things in life cost what they cost. The unnecessary things are not worth it at any price. The key is being aware of the difference.

So the next time you feel anxious, take a few extra seconds of focus. I choose to focus on my breath but your point of focus can be whatever you choose. Do what is necessary to allow yourself the time to make that reasoned choice about how your feelings of anxiety will affect your state of mind.