While on the other side of the world I was having a conversation with my mother on Facetime, we miss each other dearly. She went into the details of a dream she had about bringing me and my brother some UTZ potatoes chips which we had specifically requested in our care package, but ultimately would never get because to send over even a small box of goods to us would be a extensive and expensive task with no guarantees of us ever getting the package.

My mother is a very emotional being, filled with an abundance of love and passion. She is a maternal titan, and the reason my brother and I are filled with so much love and joy today. As she told me her story she began to cry, she told me that she misses her boys and I could do nothing but be filled with love from seeing this, if I had not forced myself to laugh to try and cheer her up I probably would have cried myself. I think that there is significance to her extreme sensitivity, as we all know growing up black in America is different and growing up a black male almost forces all of the sensitivity out of you.

Our families and our culture have told us to be tough, to be strong, to NOT cry. While at the same time society conditions us to repress our emotions and feelings in fear of being misunderstood, mistaken, or worse, feared by others. But to my mother I will forever be thankful, because of her I was able to become more in touch with my feminine side. Some of you may misunderstand what that means, but the short of it is, that I am a very sensitive male, even if I don't always show it.

So as she sat there on the phone crying to me about how much she missed me and asking me repeatedly if my brother and I wanted her to fly out just to bring us some chips because she missed us so much, I held back the tears that were lying within me and laughed instead. I missed her just as much, because she is my mother, and I will never be ashamed to say how much I love her.

Soon after she calmed down, I reassured several times that we were fine and would be home in no time; she asked if I was happy, and that is why I am writing today. She asked me to write about what it means to be happy and I don't think I have an answer but I do have a perspective.

There are so many people, places, and things that we feel will make us happy, but if I could replace those three words I would substitute them with Gratitude, Grit, and GOD.

I put gratitude at the front because it is the keystone of my mental fortitude, I spent an entire year intentionally focused on the meaning and understanding of this one word because it means that much to me. Gratitude will ground you, but it will also lift you up, it can make the simple seem amazing, and the complex seem mundane.

For a long time I had an image of a young child on my phone who was clearly from an underprivileged upbringing in an underdeveloped area. What made me put that image on my phone was the smile the child had on their face, it was my personal reminder to be grateful. There was not a shred of doubt in my mind that within that child’s heart and mind lied a deep pool of gratitude, and so I sought to develop mine own. Gratitude is the acknowledgment of what is and what isn't, what was and what will be, it is acceptance and determination, it’s something that is free to give and a joy to receive. Gratitude is a gift.

Grit is important to happiness because to be completely honest, nobody is happy all the time, life just isn't set up that way. Grit is courage, grit is strength, fortitude, and its actually defined as a positive in psychology. To have Grit you must have a resolute spirit, one that will see the mountain and claim it as conquered before you even begin the climb. Grit will empower you to overcome the obstacles that will inevitably test your desire for happiness, whatever form you have chosen to imagine it as.

God is last but in truth God is everything, God is gratitude, God is grit, God is God. However you worship and whether you do or not, God is important. God is knowledge, God is truth, God is understanding and with that understanding, gratitude and grit will manifest and allow you to attain the happiness you seek.

So to my mother whom I love with ever fiber of my being, and to anyone else who is reading this, I hope and pray that this will help you, because writing it has truly helped me. These words are not mine alone, they are words that have come from all the experiences I have shared with people all over the world, they are wisdom, and wisdom is not owned by anyone, it is shared with everyone.

I hope you find your happiness, and when you do, I hope you share it with the world.