Happiness

While on the other side of the world I was having a conversation with my mother on Facetime, we miss each other dearly. She went into the details of a dream she had about bringing me and my brother some UTZ potatoes chips which we had specifically requested in our care package, but ultimately would never get because to send over even a small box of goods to us would be a extensive and expensive task with no guarantees of us ever getting the package.

My mother is a very emotional being, filled with an abundance of love and passion. She is a maternal titan, and the reason my brother and I are filled with so much love and joy today. As she told me her story she began to cry, she told me that she misses her boys and I could do nothing but be filled with love from seeing this, if I had not forced myself to laugh to try and cheer her up I probably would have cried myself. I think that there is significance to her extreme sensitivity, as we all know growing up black in America is different and growing up a black male almost forces all of the sensitivity out of you.

Our families and our culture have told us to be tough, to be strong, to NOT cry. While at the same time society conditions us to repress our emotions and feelings in fear of being misunderstood, mistaken, or worse, feared by others. But to my mother I will forever be thankful, because of her I was able to become more in touch with my feminine side. Some of you may misunderstand what that means, but the short of it is, that I am a very sensitive male, even if I don't always show it.

So as she sat there on the phone crying to me about how much she missed me and asking me repeatedly if my brother and I wanted her to fly out just to bring us some chips because she missed us so much, I held back the tears that were lying within me and laughed instead. I missed her just as much, because she is my mother, and I will never be ashamed to say how much I love her.

Soon after she calmed down, I reassured several times that we were fine and would be home in no time; she asked if I was happy, and that is why I am writing today. She asked me to write about what it means to be happy and I don't think I have an answer but I do have a perspective.

There are so many people, places, and things that we feel will make us happy, but if I could replace those three words I would substitute them with Gratitude, Grit, and GOD.

I put gratitude at the front because it is the keystone of my mental fortitude, I spent an entire year intentionally focused on the meaning and understanding of this one word because it means that much to me. Gratitude will ground you, but it will also lift you up, it can make the simple seem amazing, and the complex seem mundane.

For a long time I had an image of a young child on my phone who was clearly from an underprivileged upbringing in an underdeveloped area. What made me put that image on my phone was the smile the child had on their face, it was my personal reminder to be grateful. There was not a shred of doubt in my mind that within that child’s heart and mind lied a deep pool of gratitude, and so I sought to develop mine own. Gratitude is the acknowledgment of what is and what isn't, what was and what will be, it is acceptance and determination, it’s something that is free to give and a joy to receive. Gratitude is a gift.

Grit is important to happiness because to be completely honest, nobody is happy all the time, life just isn't set up that way. Grit is courage, grit is strength, fortitude, and its actually defined as a positive in psychology. To have Grit you must have a resolute spirit, one that will see the mountain and claim it as conquered before you even begin the climb. Grit will empower you to overcome the obstacles that will inevitably test your desire for happiness, whatever form you have chosen to imagine it as.

God is last but in truth God is everything, God is gratitude, God is grit, God is God. However you worship and whether you do or not, God is important. God is knowledge, God is truth, God is understanding and with that understanding, gratitude and grit will manifest and allow you to attain the happiness you seek.

So to my mother whom I love with ever fiber of my being, and to anyone else who is reading this, I hope and pray that this will help you, because writing it has truly helped me. These words are not mine alone, they are words that have come from all the experiences I have shared with people all over the world, they are wisdom, and wisdom is not owned by anyone, it is shared with everyone.

I hope you find your happiness, and when you do, I hope you share it with the world.

Who Do You Love?

It’s the month of February and people everywhere are talking about love. But it’s probably not the type of love I’ve decided to speak on today.

Today I want to talk to you about…you. Whether you’re in a relationship or single it’s so important that you love yourself. We at times can be our own worst critic; running away with the idea that we are not enough, that we are “lacking” . We are beings that are in a constant state of growth and change and if you can accept that fact, your outlook on life will become a little brighter.

Life moves fast, if you feel like it’s moving too slow ponder on this, you’re literally moving at 1,040 mph (that’s how fast the earth rotates). But that’s not me telling you to panic, don’t worry gravity has got you. I’m trying to get you to realize that you being alive and able to read this article is in fact amazing. You are amazing! We see everything around us but seldom do we look within, we look in the mirror assessing how we physically look, trying to point out flaws failing to realize that your outward appearance is not a reflection of your true self. If you can develop the ability to see the greatness in yourself, you will begin to see the beauty in each day.

Take some time out today to close your eyes and create yourself in your own image, that is who you are! Even if others don’t have the ability to see it. Now if you have decided that you are not that person, then make today the first step it making that who you will become. It’s sad that we as humans beings are a bit over-critical of ourselves and our looks. We see ourselves as “less” attractive or appealing than even strangers see us. Don’t let it get to that point, always believe in yourself, your own greatness, and potential.

If we only wanted to be happy, it would be easy; but we want to be happier than other people, which is almost always difficult, since we think them happier than we are

- Charles de Montesquieu

We see the beauty in others and what they have, and yet can only see what we lack. But here is the cool part, it’s all in our heads, which means we are fully capable of repainting the image. Even if you don’t see yourself as creative as I once did, you are an artist in your own right, your opinions and beliefs do matter, because you matter.

Now do me a favor and close your eyes and create that self image one more time, but this time think of what you love about yourself… that is who you are.

And again if you feel like it’s not, that is who you can and will become.

8:47 AM

I woke up today with a deep deep sense of peace, I was up all night filled with an almost limitless energy. I'm not sure of it's source but I know now that it’s there, it is wide and it is deep. I feel like its a well that was always there, I’ve just never tapped into it before. I could feel the words that my instructor imparted to me come up through my gut and out of my mouth “Your dreams are not what you see while you’re sleeping, Dreams are what keep you up at night", I truly felt those words.

I was surfing on a high from all of the positive feedback I was getting from my latest post on my new blog, a blog that was 2 years in the making. I have tried and failed to start my website many times, I even had one completely done on another web builder, but I never let it see the light of day. As most people like to say, I just didn't feel right, but this, right now, feels right.

While I sit here in my favorite tea shop in India, the only things open are it and the fruit and vegetable vendors on the streets of the market, I'm still trying to figure out why I'm up right now since I did not go to sleep until 4 am and it’s now 8:47, but I feel full of life as if I got a full nights rest.

I'm thankful for this feeling, I woke up and told myself I was going to have some "me" time, I woke up and said my prayers, I woke up and thanked God, I woke up.

Just being alive and in this place and space both mentally and physically is a beautiful gift from God. I know now more than ever that I have a purpose, that I have a calling, and that I have found a passion.

I'm currently reading a book called The Daily Stoic, and it gifted me with some words that feel so aligned with my path that I must rewrite them just to make sure they are ingrained in my being and consciousness, "Be in control of your passions, rather than being controlled by them". I asked God countless times to help me to find mine, and have been presented with them many many times, but it feels like it hasn't been until now, right now, that I truly understand what I must do.

I finally feel like I am in the right frame of mind to write like a used to years ago, I am filled with words, they pour out of me like water out of a fountain, words that I know will fill others up with life's water.

These words are my water and the people whom come to my page are vessels, I feel it is my duty to fill them with something positive, because that is my gift. I wake up almost every single morning happy, but not happy because of what I have or what Ive done, but because of who I am, I am me, and that has been and always will be enough.

I am me when things are going good, I am me when things are going bad, and through every magnitude of measurement in and between those two states of being I am thankful.

Gratitude is a powerful word, and as I wrote yesterday, words are powerful. I spent an entire year focused on my understanding of this one word gratitude, I meditated on it, I wrote about it and now I have gathered the information, studied the knowledge, and attained the wisdom to truly understand its meaning.

The very wise GZA wrote in his book The Tao of Wu "knowledge is knowing, but wisdom is doing" and that’s what I plan to manifest.

The mantra on my page before yesterday was "I am not my thoughts, I am what I do", but I was wrong, this revelation was given to me by my cousin not by blood, but my cousin all the same. If I may, I would like to think of him more like a big brother, in the two weeks I spent in Nairobi, Kenya he poured so much knowledge into me. We stayed up almost every night talking about the origins of man, stoicism, philosophy, manifestation, and what wisdom truly means, we talked of religion, spirituality, and science. We talked of business, family and friends, we talked of life and we talked of love.

God will give you a the same message countless times, he will put you through things over and over again, and bring you around the same type of person or situation until you finally get "it". The message I received from all our talks is the same message my father has always given to me , the same message I see in the friends I admire and look up to, the same message I will leave you with here.

"BE INTENTIONAL"

If you are intentional with your words and your actions, there is nothing that you cannot manifest. Time is just a construct, it will move whether you do a lot or a little, but the purpose and vigor with which you do things is what gives time its true value. Be intentional, and watch how "fast" things change.

Your Words Have Power

My development as a person is a never-ending journey, a journey that leads me to new destinations each day. On this day I have come down the path of word choice. Your words have power. I know the preceding sentence may seem incomplete, but it’s not. I chose to put it there because my understanding of its meaning has deepened. Those four words should be the preamble to every conversation that you have, they are the foundation of good communication even, and especially with your self.

It was not until I gained the confidence and maturity to open up enough to share the words within me with others, that I stumbled upon this revelation. Though some may not believe in its existence, words are magical, they have the ability to move people, to change emotions, to fill with strength or strip of power. They are the alchemy that was reated by our distant ancestors, and an algorithm that can be easily misunderstood or misused. 

As a writer I am constantly searching for new and innovative ways to connect and impart messages. Like cooking a meal, the way in which a message is prepared, can greatly change the flavor, just like the way a sentence is structured leaves a different taste in one’s mouth.

Think twice and speak once, wise words indeed, a wisdom that I think I finally have a greater understanding of. Language is a medium that is used to create a connection between two or more beings. Its a form of energy that can be static or kinetic, you can write it in a book or pass it on to someone else in conversation, either way its impact can be immense.

Your words have power, and that power comes from within you. Lying in each and every one of us is a pool of energy that we must learn to tap into and use wisely. Use your power for good, uplift both friends and strangers, and more importantly use your power to uplift your self.

Speak into existence your triumphs, Speak into existence your growth, Speak into existence your peace, and you will one day speak into existence your purpose. Your words have power.

Aspire to Inspire

I’ve never been a public speaker and I’ve never done anything extraordinary to my knowledge, but I have always believed in believing in oneself. Having been raised to not include the word “can’t” in my vocabulary has led me to truly believe with all of my being that anyone can do anything they put their mind to. Sounds like it’s a cliche right? To most it would be, but to me it’s a mantra.

In the short time I have been on this earth I have learned that nothing in life is predictable except time, not the amount of time, but its value. And with that said those whom aspire to do great things must have patience because anything worth doing is worth doing right and will more often than not require a large amount of it. Please don’t think I’m just pulling all this out of a hat like a rabbit , I have lived and learned it!

Reading is one of my favorite pastimes, as a knowledge seeker I have come to understand that everyone has a different formula for mastery or success but I’ve never read or heard anyone say success happens over night, because more often than not it doesn’t.

I’m saying all of this as a preference to my central thought and message:

“Develop an undying faith in yourself”

And to be clear I’m not telling you just to tell you, I’m asking you to start practicing this everyday if you haven’t already started. It’s great to have friends and family whose opinion you value and appreciate,but you have to make sure your not listening to another persons purpose, follow your own path!

As we grow and get older we look to others whether they be older or younger for advice,but to truly be great you have to take risk and gamble on yourself and your own subconscious ideas. I hate to have to burst some peoples bubble but it is going to be hard and nobody is going to do this thing called life for you. But I leave you with some wise words I received from a sprightly 90 year old women named Susan. Our meeting began with me asking her how she was so peppy even though the subject of our conversation wasn’t the most pleasant and she had actually called the wrong number… she responded with a smile I could hear through the phone saying she was just happy to be alive, I paused for a second then thanked her for her time and insight because it was the only response I could give to someone brimming with so much positivity. This was when she gave me the gift that is this message… she laughed and said that she has lived a long time but was always happy to learn ,she said with confidence

“ I’m old enough to to know better, Young enough to learn, and dumb enough to try again”

I leave these as the last words of wisdom because it needs no explanation, never stop learning and never stop living, I hope this message has given you the drive to inspire others and yourself the way she inspired me.